


Poison and Wine

by astr0cat



Category: Australian Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Kind of abusive i guess, M/M, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-04 00:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6633181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astr0cat/pseuds/astr0cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Based of the song Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fNlxKH9Jtmc</p>
    </blockquote>





	Poison and Wine

**Author's Note:**

> Based of the song Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fNlxKH9Jtmc

_You only know what I want you to_

Chris let his hand fall to the side, anger burning in his gaze. He had almost slapped Tom across the face for being so naive to not see-to not notice. To notice how much he was affecting Chris’ life. However, before he could let his hand slip into action, he yanked it back. He would never stoop so low as to slap a person. A person that he loved, even if he despised him right now. No matter how much he loathed him at any time, he would never lay a hand on him in that manner.

Tom only knew the thoughts that the blonde shared with him, at least that's what it seemed like to Chris, the taller man would only share what he wanted the brunette to know. He wouldn't discuss details or even trivial facts about how he had cheated on Thomas last month and he sure as hell wouldn't tell him about how he had stolen from his wallet one time.

_I know everything you don't want me to_

The shorter male let out a small sob as he stared at the ground, adrenaline pulsing through his veins. Chris dared to even attempt to lay a hand on him? Why? What had he ever done? Chris had been the one that had cheated on him less than five weeks ago, Chris had been the one who had punched Tom in the jaw when he was in a drunken state, Chris had been the one to steal over three hundred dollars from his wallet that one week. So why, why was he being punished for all of this?

 _Your mouth is poison_

Suddenly the blonde grabbed Tom up by his collar, smashing their lips together in an aggressive kiss. The mouth to mouth action lacked the love and passion that the brunette had grown so accustomed to-it lacked everything that the shorter male had ever known. All he felt was the anger, the hatred as it radiated off of the other man’s mouth and onto his. The kiss was painful in a way, suffocating. _Poisoning._

_your mouth is wine_

Again and again, the taller man kissed the actor before him, lips bruising the other’s with the same fury held in the last one. Chris felt as though he could get drunk off of those lips for they relaxed him, giving him the same comfortable, warm, tingling feeling that alcohol would.

Ever since this relationship had started, it had just been going downhill, plummeting towards its unavoidable fate, and tonight would be the last night that he and Tom would sleep in the same bed.

_You think your dreams are the same as mine_

From the start, Chris had always thought that Tom had wanted to be an actor and just that, nothing else. He had always suspected-always guessed what the shorter male had wanted and had never bothered to ask for the lack of wanting to obtain that specific piece of knowledge. Tom knew he didn't care but it would be a nice gesture to at least _pretend_ The brunette had always dreamed about being a dancer. Of course he enjoyed acting, especially for Shakespeare, but his true passion was to be skipping around on stage like the loon he was, letting his long legs carry him to fame. That didn't happen often though and he certainly didn't want it to be his main profession anymore, it was too late to change anything.

_Oh, I don't love you, but I always will_

The blonde yanked Tom up off his feet, carrying him to their bedroom and flinging him onto the bed. Their relationship wasn’t...normal. It was different from what society labeled as healthy. For Chris, it was typical to go out after a fight and have a few fucks with some lovely ladies instead of dealing with fixing the relationship he was currently in, at least the thing he called a relationship.

For Tom, going to the bar and drinking himself to near death was a wonted thing, it was how he dealt with the knowledge of Chris’ affairs. He couldn't leave Chris, he couldn't. He had tried but to no avail, it was no use. He’d just come crawling back...like he always did.

_Oh, I don't love you, but I always will_

The taller male brought another smothering kiss upon the brunette’s bruised lips as he slid off Tom’s shirt, practically absorbing the cries the actor emitted. At this point in their life, Tom was just another toy for him, the main one at that. As of right now the blonde wasn't even sure if the brunette that lay sobbing underneath him was his favorite, just the one he played around with the most, the one he _teased_ and used for titles.

_I don't love you but I always will_

Tom brought his lanky arms to wrap around Chris’ neck, tears sliding down his cheeks. He knew that he didnt love him, he knew everything that the man had attempted so desperately to hide from him. His attempts had been in vain though, although he wouldn't know that. Tom didn't have a reason to tell him that he knew, it would only end in Chris leaving him forever and no matter how bad the relationship was, Tom didn't want that because…

Tom loved him.

_I always will_

With hesitant actions, the brunette leaned up to steal a kiss from the taller male. The second his lips reached the other’s, his head was forced down into the pillow as the kiss commenced, turning feisty and heated.

Tom tried to reach up towards the blond’s face, attempting to cradle it within his touch but his hands were forced down by the wrist, pinned roughly to the bed.

_I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back_

Instead of all the roughness, the raw abuse that was given to him daily, Tom wanted affection. He wanted actions that proved that the love that he pretended was there was actually there. He wanted to believe that he wasn't just some toy, wanted to believe it was a mutual feeling, wanted to believe that Chris loved him. But thinking back on it all, the brunette couldn't recall a single time when the brunette had held him or even wiped away the salty drops of water that rolled down the pale sides of his cheeks. Even now as Thomas lay sobbing beneath him, the blonde did not even attempt to brush a tear off of his cheekbone.

_The less I give, the more I get back_

Chris gave him sex, he gave Tom sexual pleasure but that was all. He was never into the hugs-the “snuggling”. He had only gifted Tom with a bottle of wine for his birthday yet the brunette had given him so much. No matter how little the taller male gave the man, Tom always gave him so much more.

_Oh, your hands can heal, your hands can bruise_

The actor let out another sob as the hands that once fluttered over his skin now grabbed and slapped at it. It hurt. Tom wouldn't lie, it stung as the angry purple marks were formed under the crude touch of Chris. He never realized, couldn't recall when everything turned from decent to abusive. He couldn't retrace his steps to see when things had gone so terribly wrong, when he had fallen so hard for someone, to stay with them even after all of this. It's not like Chris was even abusive-he only harmed him when he was intoxicated beyond his own mind, sometimes when he was sober but not often, that was excuse enough right? Excuse enough for this all to be okay and at least somewhat normal?

_I don't have a choice but I still choose you_

The brunette let another sob, louder than the others, pass his lips as a hand came up and grabbed at his neck. The force effectively cutting off the actor’s voice and strangling the air out of him. Yes, Tom didn't remember when he had decided to stay even though he knew things would only get worse, but he did know that he would stay. Even if Chris left him, even if the relationship dwindled down to just sex whenever the blonde felt like it.

_Oh, I don't love you, but I always will_

Chris released the thin neck before sliding his shirt off, yanking down the brunette's pants, his underwear sliding down along with them. Once again, Tom reached up to let his shaking, slender fingers graze over the blonde's face, his actions hesitant. Chris let him have what he wanted, he let the palms cradle his face until it became too bothersome and he forced the hands down once more.

Chris tugged the zipper of his jeans down, yanking his underwear out of the way.

_Oh, I don't love you, but I always will_

Before the brunette could even prepare himself, Chris pushed in roughly and mercilessly. Ignoring Tom's strangled sobs, he continued to thrust in and out, not slowing down one bit. The brunette’s sobs echoed quietly across the room as he bit into his lip trying to keep himself muted but to no avail. A small dribble of blood dripped down his chin after a moment and Chris watched as he squinted his eyes in pain.

Leaning down, the blonde began to suck on his lip, moving down to his chin to let his tongue dance across Tom's skin, licking the scarlet substance away. After the crimson had been cleared, the actor’s sobs became slightly louder and the blonde shoved two fingers inside of Tom's mouth to silence him.

_I don't love you, but I always will_

The cries, now muted, vibrated against Chris’ tan digits, tingling them as a drop of spit trailed down his hand. His eyes had already darkened long ago, pupils blown causing the light blue rims to be nearly invisible. Following his urges, he thrusted faster and faster, his gaze becoming content as he got closer and closer to the edge.

_Oh, I don't love you, but I always will_

Tom let out a strangled yelp as he was torn from the inside out, his insides threatening to split from the friction. The fingers in his mouth gagged him, choked him, yet he made no move to defend himself. Why?

Because he loved Chris.

Because he loved him even though it was wrong to hold affection for someone like this, someone so brutish and unforgiving.

_I don't love you, but I always will_

The blonde pushed in faster and faster, harder and harder, again and again and again. The way Tom sobbed out his name made him feel a rush of pleasure but also a tinge of remorse, sadness edging at the back of his brain. Even though the taller man thoroughly enjoyed having his way with the brunette while being able to sleep around with other people, guilt had always lingered around in his head and every once in awhile he thought about what it would be like to patch the relationship up, to actually try to make it normal. He wondered quite often actually, what it would be like to be a normal person in a normal relationship. Of course he always pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, pushed them so far back that they became too tight and too cramped, becoming compressed until they exploded and faded away.

_I don't love you, but I always will_

For the first time in five months, Chris leaned down and planted a soft kiss on Tom’s lips, making it sweet and loving unlike the previous ones only minutes ago. Venom rested beneath it though, making it fake. And for the first time ever, the blonde spoke out the words to the man below him, glancing at his shocked expression as he spoke.

“I love you, Tom.”

They were fake also.

_I don't love you, but I always will_

Tom could've sworn that his heart stopped beating for a minute if it hadn't been the loud pounding to prove him wrong. This was the moment, those were the words he had waited an eternity to hear. Drops of water pricked the corners of his eyes as a smile broke out onto his face, a small sob escaping his sore throat.

With the smile still etched on his face, he grasped Chris’ face within his palms before deciding to wrap his arms around the back of his neck.

“I love you too, Chris.”

_I always will_

The blonde thrusted in faster until he toppled over the edge, pleasure shooting through his body causing him to shudder. The brunette below him emitted a sound in between a gasp and a moan as he hit his own climax.

_I always will_

Angry bruises littered Tom’s porcelain skin as he attempted to pull himself back from the void, pain radiating off of him in waves. Though through the pain he saw happiness.

Finally. 

_I always will_

When he cracked his eyes open, Chris was already dressed, shirt hugging his chest as he grabbed the suitcase Tom had failed to notice before. How had he gotten dressed so fast? How had he moved halfway across the room without Tom noticing?

It was then that it clicked for the brunette, the happiness leaving his mind just as quickly as it had come. He hadn't even realized that the blonde had already moved to the living room until it was just too late. Jumping up, he tugged a pair of boxers on before darting after Chris. “No-” he stumbled over his foot, almost tripping, “NO WAIT!” 

Blue eyes met with his for a split second before the door was flung open and the male’s foot stepped out. Tom extended his arm as if to reach out for the male as he ran and ran. An engine started up and the sound of tires skidding across the ground made it clear he wasn't coming back. 

_I always will_

Tom collapsed to the ground, legs spread behind him stupidly while his arm remained reached out until it hurt to hold it up. He sobbed and wailed, his face scrunched up in agony. His brows climbed higher on his face the more his eyes squished together. And even as his throat became sore and the bruise that inhabited his neck began to ache, he still continued to sob out. He let his hand fall to the ground, fingers clutching at an invisible object that wasn't there. Tears ran down his cheeks faster than the speed of light, raining down. 

“I love you too…”

_I always will_


End file.
